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do celebrities ever get called for jury duty? imagine having shaquille o’neal declare you guilty
get slammed in two courts at once
Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it
happy birthday someone
I like reblogging this becaUSE WHAT IF YOU SAW THIS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE
I love it when Google Chrome screws up and they’re like “Fuck it here’s a tiny dinosaur pixel”
NOOO WHY DOES NO ONE GET IT REMEMBER THE SCENE IN ‘MEET THE ROBINSONS’?
GOOGLE CHROME SHOWS THAT LITTLE DINOSAUR PIXEL BECAUSE THEY CAN’T REACH THE WEBPAGE
so I’m at a gas station getting RED BULL AND THE GUY INFRONT OF ME IS TRYING TO GET CONDOMS AND HIS CARD GOT FUCKING DECLINED AND THIS LITTLE OLD WOMAN BEHIND ME WHISPEREd “he just got cock blocked by visa” I FUCKING SHAT MYSELF
i’m into really low commitment hangouts like lying on the floor near each other or falling asleep together or falling into an endless void together
your tumblr is one of those things that you want everyone to see but at the same time you never want to show it to anyone
who do i have to talk to in order to make bucky barnes my boyfriend
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